


Everything Is Blue

by fairestandfoulest



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Eventual Romance, Implied Violence, Implied/Referenced Mental Health Issues, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 09:33:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6465118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairestandfoulest/pseuds/fairestandfoulest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Dick.</p>
<p>He’d faked his death, let his family believe he was dead, then tried to come back like he did nothing wrong, like he hadn’t hurt everyone. Jason’s sneered, blood coating his teeth. How very Batman of him."</p>
<p>or, Dick comes back and Jason hates him (except he really really doesn't)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything Is Blue

**Author's Note:**

> YOOOOOOOO WHAT'S UP PARTY PEOPLE okay so this was supposed to be multi-chaptered but then I lost interest and suddenly I was like I'LL MAKE IT A SHORT ONE SHOT EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE AND DANDY and so I finished and here I am :))
> 
> Title from Colors by Halsey, the ultimate Jaydick song.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> Come talk to me at [my tumblr](bisexualqueenofhell.tumblr.com)

The only thing Jason could think while he fled home was that his hand ached.

From punching Dick.

_That son of a bitch deserved it,_ Jason thought angrily, pretending his eyes stung from when the thug punched him, not because of Dick.

Dick.

He’d faked his death, let his family believe he was _dead,_ then tried to come back like he did nothing wrong, like he hadn’t hurt everyone. Jason’s sneered, blood coating his teeth. How very _Batman_ of him.

Jason was at least grateful for Tim being there, someone to stop him from beating the shit out of Dick. It was almost funny, how Dick used to stop him from killing others, and now he was number one on his hit list.

Jason swooped in through the window of his apartment, slamming it closed so hard that the glass splintered. Good. Finally, something in this damn apartment that was just like him: broken.

Jason tore off his gloves, bloody from his split knuckles and those thugs broken teeth. It had felt good, picking a fight. He threw some half-hearted punches and then let the thugs have a go. Bruce would have a field day when he was better.

Jason smirked. _Good._

The apartment was cold and Jason’s wounds were starting to get to him. He probably had some internal bleeding, his stomach no doubt the color of a mottle grape, and his jaw throbbed from how many sucker punches he’d taken. He could feel loose teeth and taste his own blood.

Usually, the taste of blood was practically soothing. But now, right after he’d seen Dick, his dead _brother,_ it made him feel nauseous. Jason breathed through his mouth, hoping the feeling would dissipate.

_“I went to your damn funeral!”_

Those words he’d flung at Dick still thrashed in his chest. They tore his heart out then put it back, only to do it again. He’d cried there. Maybe he should have told that to Dick. He should have told him he cried, wet, angry sobbing, and none other than Tim, his replacement, had held him. That was when Tim and him really got close. They leaned on each other, got drunk together, got _high_ together, and avoided Bruce Wayne together. Not that it was hard. Bruce was a shell of what he’d been after Dick died. They all were. Knowing Bruce’s was fake make Jason’s blood even colder.

_“I don’t care what Bats told you, you don’t do that to your—.”_

And then Jason had put his foot in his mouth. He’d almost called Dick his brother, almost gave _Dick_ the power to kill him for a fourth time. First was when he actually died. Second was when he saw that Batman had a new Robin. Third was when Dick died. There would never be a fourth, not if Jason could help it.

_“You don’t do that to another Robin!”_

Because, in the end, that’s what they all were. Sure, sometimes they were Nightwing, or Red Robin, or Red Hood, or Batgirl. But they were always Robins, and they protected their nest. But how did you protect your nest when one of your own was destroying it?

Jason rushed to the sink and threw up the contents Tim and him had eaten for lunch. Funny thing was, this wasn’t his first time vomiting in his sink. No, that belonged to the day after Dick’s birthday, when he’d called Dick’s phone just to listen to his fucking voicemail. _Beeeeep. Sorry I can’t answer right now, must be flying the coop if you know what I mean! (laugh) But leave your name and number and I’ll be sure to get back to you. Beeeeep_. Jason didn’t know what was more pathetic, him calling Grayson’s phone just to leave voicemails, or Bruce continuing to pay his dead son’s phone bills.

But it was the first time he hadn’t done something to make himself throw up in the sink. The first time, Jason would chalk it up to alcohol. But now? This was all because of fucked up Dick Grayson and his fucked up views.

Jason retched again but there was nothing but _his_ blood and _his_ tears. _Isn’t that all you really have though?_ a voice asked Jason. He’d always sort of heard whispers after the Lazarus Pit. And they were always brutal, ready to tear him piece by piece, just to build him back up again. That’s what the Pit did.

But this time the voices were right. Jason Todd had himself and only himself.

Jason tore open his cupboard, grabbing the hard liquor that Tim had snatched from Bruce’s private collection. Henry IV Dudognon Heritage Cognac. Let it be known that Bruce Wayne was not a cheap man when it came to buying his liquor.

Popping the cap, Jason took a long swig from the bottle, walking towards his bedroom. He grabbed his handcuffs, knowing he’d have to cuff himself to the bed so he didn’t permanently damage himself when the alcohol fanned his nightmares.

The nightmares would be tough, but he’d take them over Dick’s face any day.

-X-

Dick was aware that he’d royally fucked up. He didn’t need Tim’s scolding to understand this.

“-and you just _died,”_ Tim said, voice angry. Dick felt the normal flare of guilt and, just like always, he extinguished that fire before it spread. He was used to cutting himself off before he could feel too much. He’d done so when he was Robin, when he was Batman, and now as Dick. With Spyral, not feeling had been a must, but he was done with them. Gone. His mission was over, he got the intel. He was free.

“Are you even listening to me?” Tim snarled, grabbing Dick’s jaw and forcing him to look him in the eye. “You _died_ and we died _with_ you.” Dick winced because what was he supposed to say? _Sorry I faked my death and apparently caused a lot of problems within my family._

“You and Jason seem close,” Dick said and then winced again. He felt terrible about himself because here was Tim, talking about everyone falling apart, and Dick had made it about himself. That wasn’t what the eldest did. Well, technically Barbara was the oldest, but Dick had been around longer, so he got the title.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Tim said, proving just how close to Jason he’d actually gotten. Jay had a mouth on him from the stop, endearingly so if Dick thought about it. “We were broken and we turned to each other. You don’t get to be jealous of that.” Dick breathed out in a huff. He knew he didn’t, but it was hard to remember.

“I know,” Dick promised and Tim huffed, finally sitting next to him.

“Have you seen the rest of the family yet?” Tim asked after a few beats of silence. Dick almost wished that they’d let the silence consume them, let it eat away Dick until he was just pieces scattered in the wind.

“I’ve seen Bruce and Alfred,” Dick said, reaching up to rub at his sore jaw. Say what you want about Jason, but the kid sure knew how to throw a punch. The thought was relieving in some ways, just knowing that not as much had changed as he thought. “I’m plan to go see Babs and Dami right after finish.”

“I hope they both punch you,” Tim said and Dick nodded, wry smile playing on his lips.

“I hope they do to,” Dick said. He stretched, leaning back and letting his head thump gently. “I could go for a little beating.”

“Now you sound like Jason,” Tim said with a snort and Dick’s heart gave a sharp twist at the words. Jason liked to let people rough him around a bit after something spooked him. Dick had always hated it, had yelled his voice hoarse at Jason for it. Back then, he never thought he’d cause him to seek that kind of attention one day.

“You need to check on Jason,” Dick said at the same time Tim said, “I need to make sure Jay’s okay.” Before they would have shared a quick smile, pleased over their minds linking so perfectly. Now, Tim clenched his jaw and Dick looked away because that’s what strangers did. And that’s what they were now, weren’t they?

“Don’t act like you know him,” Tim said lowly. He stood up and brushed off dirt that didn’t exist. “Don’t act like you know any of us.” And then Tim was gone, blending effortlessly despite it being broad daylight. Dick was proud of his boys. It was impossible not to be. Even if they hated him, he’d love him because that’s what Dick Grayson did.

He loved people. At least until he broke them.

-X-

Jason blinked at the light spilling in through the open curtains. He groaned, reaching up with the hand not cuffed to the bedpost to rub at his eyes. He could have sworn he’d closed the curtains yesterday, right before he got too drunk for coherency, determined to stop this rude awakening from happening.

“Welcome back to the land of the living, Todd.” Fucking Tim. Of course it was fucking Tim.

“Fuck off,” Jason shouted back. His apartment wasn’t big by any standards, but his bedroom wasn’t connected to the kitchen, so that was a plus.

“And here I was, thinking you’d like scrambled eggs and extra greasy bacon.” Which, that was just fighting dirty. Tim knew he couldn’t resist extra greasy bacon.

“Do the eggs have cheese in them?”

“What kind of amateur do you mistake me for? Of course the eggs have cheese in them.” Jason sighed, loudly so Tim could hear. Then Jason stretched and stretched until the shoulder connected to his cuffed hand popped and he could finally reach the keys for the handcuffs. He unlocked himself and then started to stomp to the kitchen, pausing in the doorway to slam his shoulder against it and pop his shoulder back in with a small grunt.

Jason looked at Tim in the kitchen, still dressed in his Red Robin gear, but mask pulled off and flung somewhere else. Jason’s plate was piled high with eggs and bacon and more eggs and more bacon. Tim’s plate was… sparse. His eggs and bacon were each in a neat little pile, not touching. Jason rolled his eyes.

“No wonder you’re so tiny,” Jason grumbled. “You eat jack shit.”

“I’m lean,” Tim said, handing Jason his plate. Jason bypassed the fork offered to him and ate it with his hands, Tim giving him a grossed out look. “If I jump around on a full stomach, I’ll be vomiting over the villains, not fighting them.”

“Same difference,” Jason muttered, mouth full. Swallowing the food, Jason felt a little weird. He gagged and coughed into his hand, pulling it away and looking at the blood that splattered it. “Shit.”

“Jesus, Jay,” Tim said. Jason didn’t have to look at him to know he was horrified. “You let them get in more than a few lousy punches.”

“Why did Dick come back?” Jason asked. He turned his hand, let the lights catch the blood. “Why couldn’t he stay away and let us carry _on?”_

“You came back,” Tim reminded him softly. Jason scoffed, slamming his hand on the table and feeling his knuckles split open again.

“That was way different and you know it.” And it _was._ For one, Jason had actually been dead. He’d crawled himself out of the fucking grave just to find that everyone didn’t even give a damn. When Dick had died, or, well, _supposedly_ died, Jason had made sure his mourning would never stop, that Dick, from whatever afterlife accepted orphaned vigilantes, would never know what Jason felt. But apparently Dick didn’t deserve any of Jason’s thoughts. Well, maybe the angry ones.

Tim rolled his eyes. “You need cut the angry crap. You’re hurt, but you think that makes you vulnerable, so instead you get _angry._ And, frankly, it’s exhausting. So cut the bullshit and just feel for once, Todd.” Jason wanted to snarl that he was trying, but he felt too numb all of the sudden, too broken. Tim sighed, rubbing your face.

“I can’t choose between Red Hood and Nightwing, between my two brothers,” Tim said and Jason thought he looked tired. And sad. “And I’ll forgive Dick, I know I will. I’ve always been poor at holding grudges. I’m not saying you need to forgive him too, but… don’t ask me to choose.” Jason swallowed thickly and then coughed up some more blood.

“I won’t,” he promised. For Tim, he wouldn’t. He’d do jack for Dick.

_You’d do everything for Dick,_ a voice hissed and Jason nearly flinched. It sounded scarily like the Joker, taunting and lilting with each word. Vicious. _For your dear. Darling. **Brother.**_ Jason hated how it was right.

“You need to get yourself checked up,” Tim said, nodding at Jason’s hand covered in his own blood. “Alfred will take care of you.”

“Why can’t you do it?” Jason asked, voice dangerously close to whining. But he didn’t want to go to the Manor. Dick would show up because wherever Bruce Wayne was, Dick was, and vice versa.

“I have patrol,” Tim said, scooping the rest of his eggs in his mouth. It always bothered Jason how Tim ate with the manners of a nineteenth century aristocrat. Jason wanted to tell him to just eat like an animal, be normal for once. “And I’m not going to miss it just to clean up after your sorry ass.”

“Watch it kid,” Jason threatened, standing up. He still towered over Tim, who’d never been very tall and hadn’t grown much at all. The boy had to crane his neck just to look at Jason.

Tim laughed when Jason half-heartedly tried to punch, spinning away gracefully. Not as graceful as Dick. _Way to sour the mood, Todd,_ Jason thought, irritated with himself.

“See ya, Jay,” Tim called over his shoulder, jumping out the kitchen window. Jason wondered how none of his neighbors saw the constant influx of vigilantes coming and going through that window. Or maybe they did and figured it smarter to just keep their mouths shut. That was Gotham for you. Keep your mouth shut and no one gets hurt.  

Jason yawned and stretched, grabbing his phone and checking the time. Thank God for Tim plugging Jason’s phone in to charge, but thank Babs even more for setting up his shift so late.

Jason stood, taking his phone and moving back to his room. Coleridge sounded like a nice reprieve from his thoughts.

-X-

Tim flew across the roofs of Gotham. This is when he missed Bruce the most. Not when he was fighting, but when he was just traveling. Bruce rarely said anything, but Tim loved his presence more than anything; silent and quiet but solid. Stable.

And Tim loved to head out with Jason and Damian but they were both so unpredictable that Tim tended to actually feel nauseous when patrolling with either of them. He liked to patrol with Barbara. She was just had this habit of making Tim feel inadequate, by accident of course. She was great at her job and Tim wished to be able to fight with the same ease that she did.

Tim, so lost in thought, nearly missed the two shadows not that far ahead of him. But the flick of Damian’s yellow cape was inimitable and Tim narrowed his eyes. Usually Damian was safer, especially in daylight where anyone could notice his brightly colored suit. And who the _hell_ was with him?

Tim had a feeling who, but he hoped for Damian’s sake that he was wrong.

Tim chased after Robin, feet carrying him swiftly. He was never the strongest or the most flexible with his size and weight, but, after years of practicing, he was the sneakiest. And he knew Damian well enough to know his blind spots, even if the kid didn’t have many what with his upbringing.

Tim slowed down when the two figures did, watching them as the dropped into an alley. Tim crept to the edge of the roof, peering over quietly and his heart skipping a beat when he noticed a third figure. Batgirl.

It had been hard to notice the man’s suit from when he’d flown in the shadows, but Tim could see the red emblem across his chest. Tim felt a little teary-eyed at seeing Dick back into costume. He was sure he’d never get the chance again.

Tim shook his head. He still wanted to kick Grayson’s ass. For what he did to them all, but mostly Jason.

“Nightwing, Robin,” Batgirl said, nodding at the two. Nightwing smiled at her and stepped forward, going for a hug, but Babs stepped back. Tim was strong, but he still felt a tug at the way the smile immediately dropped from Dick’s face.

“We need to talk about Spyral and Bruce,” Robin said, crossing his arms. It reminded Tim so much of Batman that he positively _ached._

“We will,” Nightwing said. “As soon as Red Robin comes down here and shows his face.” _Busted,_ Tim could practically here Jason say.

Tim hopped over the edge of the roof and landed in the middle of their triangle. “Showing off,” Nightwing said, raising an eyebrow. “Usually that’s my style.”

“ _Was_ your style,” Tim corrected and Nightwing looked away, leaving Tim with a vicious feeling of victory. Damian stepped forward, looking angry and Tim was going to meet him halfway. He had the _right_ to be pissed, that was something Jason had taught him. Just like he taught Jason that you weren’t allowed to physically act on your anger. Or, he was trying to teach Jason. He wasn’t necessarily the best student.

Nightwing stopped Damian with a shake of his head and a hand on Robin’s shoulder. “Don’t. I deserve it.”

And that was why it was always hard to stay mad at Dick. He knew when he was in the wrong and he took the blame.

Tim was a sucker for people who were too guilty to function.

“Now is not the time to get into this,” Batgirl snapped. She seemed tense, angry even. Tim felt bad when he hoped it was at Dick. “Do it when you’re out of the suit. Right now, we need to focus on Spyral and Bruce’s memories, agreed?”

“Of course,” Dick said. “But shouldn’t Jason be here?”

“His patrol isn’t until night,” Tim said, bristling now that Dick’s brought up Jason. He wasn’t jealous or possessive, not like how Jason got about literally _everyone,_ but Dick didn’t to just pop into Jason’s life. Jason wasn’t… _stable_ enough to handle surprises. Especially after Dick died. And then came back to life.

Jesus, Tim was starting to realize how high maintenance his family really was.

“Still likes the night shift?” Dick asked and Tim didn’t like the smile that crept onto his face. Tim had known for a while that Jason felt something towards Dick, something not exactly _brotherly._ Granted, he hadn’t said it in so many words. But Tim knew Jason, could read his brother like a book now. So he knew the signs of every emotion Jason could feel. When Jason was angry, he started to clench his fists and he’d play with his guns. When he was sad, he’d straighten his back, avert his eyes. And when he was happy? He’d make his face strategically blank. Now, when he wanted someone to feel something that Tim couldn’t fulfill, he avoided. He avoided that person and their friends and _everything._

And in the same way Tim knew Jason, he knew Dick. Dick was much more obvious with his feelings; he wore his heart on his sleeves. Tim had seen that smile plenty of times, towards men and women. People Dick wanted to know, to get close to. That was the smile of a Dick Grayson ready to fall in love.

Tim hated that smile.

“Of course he did,” Damian said, wrinkling his nose. “He’s Todd after all.” Tim’s lips twitched. Jason called Tim ‘emo child’ all the time, but Tim wasn’t the one that only like the night. Dick laughed and nodded with something fond.

“You said that you got the intel needed to stop Spyral?” Batgirl asked Dick, ever the one to keep them on track. Tim guessed she wanted this over as much as he did. Probably to get away from Dick.

“Yeah. I think, with the Batman’s resources, we should be able to take them down.”

“The only problem is Bruce doesn’t remember _anything,”_ Tim said. Dick nodded and Tim scrubbed his face.

“That’s a pretty big problem,” Robin commented, and it took everything Tim had not to strangle the kid. They all _knew_ it was a big problem. Tim suddenly wished Jason was here because he wouldn’t hesitate calling them all stupid.

“So how can we get his memories back is the question?” Batgirl asked, eyes narrowed. Her fingers tapped her arm nervously, looking ready to pick herself up and leave. Tim snorted to himself. When did his family learn to run from their problems instead of facing them head on?

“I can see if Jason can get into contact with Roy and Kori,” Tim offered. A look passed over Dick’s face at the mention of the Tamaranean. _Yeah asshole,_ Tim thought angrily. _Another person that you fucked over._ “It will be harder to get to Kori, but you know Jay. He has his ways.”

“He still talks to them?” Nightwing asked and Tim puffed his chest, standing taller even if he was still much shorter than Dick.

“They were his family, too,” Tim said in a firm way that had Dick raising his hands in surrender.

“I never said they weren’t,” he murmured, looking hurt. Tim would not feel bad, he would not… _Fuck Dick and his fucking puppy face._

“I need to go,” Tim said. He couldn’t stay around Dick any longer. He didn’t want to forgive Dick immediately, didn’t want the original Boy Wonder to realize that he still had that power over Tim.

“I do too,” Batgirl said. Barbara brushed her red hair over her shoulder. She glanced at Dick. “I’m still pissed at you, but I am glad you’re alive Dick.” Dick smiled slowly at her and Tim rolled his eyes. Loudly.

“I am too, Babs,” he said and Tim huffed, jumping to pull himself onto the fire escape and moving back onto the roof of the apartment complex. He could hear the three others disband, but Tim didn’t wait around to see them off. He ran and ran and ran until Dick’s voice didn’t linger in his head and he couldn’t see the hurt underlying Jason’s face.

Jason. He’d kill Tim if he knew that Tim had seen Dick.

_He’ll never find out_ , Tim thought, making the decision. Sometimes lying through omission was the kindest move when it came to Jason.

The sound of punching and grunts caught Tim’s hearing and he made a sharp left, pushing himself faster. He got to the alley where the beating was going on and prepared himself to jump down and put a stop to it, but he froze with what he saw.

Two thugs were getting their asses kicked by a girl in black and purple spandex. Stephanie. A cowl covered most of her face, but even from here, Tim could see her sky blue eyes and tufts of blonde hair. The thugs didn’t really stand a chance, Tim realized. She wasn’t as trained as she would have been if Bruce himself had gotten to her, but she was certainly better than most. And she looked as if she had fun doing it. Dread filled Tim’s stomach because the idea of _two_ Jason’s- or maybe even two _Dick’s-_ was not a fun one.

The thugs got tossed away when she was done and then she was climbing onto the roof and that’s when Tim realized that he had to stop her. Other vigilantes were not accepted in Gotham; the Batman never liked when people decided their own brand of justice and Tim had to keep the legacy that they didn’t accept that here.

“Hey,” Tim called, chasing after Stephanie. She glanced over her shoulder and then sped up. Tim really, _really_ didn’t want to keep running. He was tired, emotionally and physically. But he had an obligation so he continued. “Stop. _Now.”_

She didn’t.

In fact, she dashed out of his sight and Tim slowed down, alarm bells ringing in his head. Stephanie was a bit unpredictable, especially when she was Spoiler.

The feeling of a brick slamming into his jaw made Tim snap back into focus. He went with the punch because if he resisted it, he’d probably end up with a broken jaw. So, instead, he rolled with it, spitting blood and a molar onto the ground.

“Stop following me, dickbag,” Stephanie snapped and Tim looked up at her holding the brick that was now very well acquainted with his face.

“You shouldn’t have taken on those thugs,” Tim said and Stephanie scoffed.

“Oh right, so it’s okay when you do it, but not me?”

“That’s different.”

“No, birdbrain, it’s really _not.”_ Tim picked himself up, eyeing her hand warily. Stephanie waved the brick at him. “Don’t make me hit you again.”

“Listen, we just can’t have everyone out here deciding what’s right and what’s wrong.” Stephanie continued to glare at him before her eyes cleared, Tim breathing out when he figured he was away from the storm.

“Do you always patrol at this time?” she asked and Tim frowned.

“What?”

“Do you always patrol at this time?” she repeated and Tim nodded, watching with slight worry as she clapped her hands and laugh lines appeared by her eyes.

“Okay.” She started to run off and Tim was so shocked that he just let her. “See you same time tomorrow,” she called over her shoulder.

Tim watched Stephanie disappear. Damn, he needed to talk to Harper.

-X-

Dodge, right punch, roundhouse kick, dodge, dodge, left punch, TKO.

Sometimes Jason was so good he even surprised himself.

“Impressive.” _Jesus Fucking Christ._ Jason was not ready to deal with Dick Grayson again.

“I know,” Jason said back easily, smiling under his helmet. He knew it was an angry smile and he also knew that, had Dick been able to see it, he would have expressed worry.

The last thing that Jason wanted was Grayson’s fucking worry.

Dick dropped down so he was in front of Jason and Jason looked at his suit. It fit him perfectly, but Jason expected noting less from the golden child. Dick straightened and Jason noted smugly that he was, as always, taller than Dick. _Take that, motherfucker._  

“Still move like a fucking cat, I see,” Jason said, eyeing the sinewy muscle that shifted just because Dick _breathed._ “Selina would be so proud. Visited her, yet?” Jason started circling and Dick mimicked him until they were watching each other, muscles locked tight in preparation of a fight.

“Yes,” Dick said. Jason couldn’t see his eyes but he knew that Dick was figuring out every weakness that Jason had, from his sore left side that he was leaving open to his right leg that lagged slightly more than his left. “ _She_ seemed grateful to see me.” Dick’s voice was just shy of accusing and Jason bared teeth. Dick needed to check himself before Jason did it for him.

“I’d tell you to watch yourself, but that was never your problem, was it, Dickie?” Jason ground out. He tried to force himself to count but the rage settled in him, breathed air into his lungs and pumped blood into his heart. The Pit cooed at him, asked him to just let _go._

_You’re more than just the Pit._

Dick had once told him that. When things went shitty, when the Pit begged him to give in but didn’t take complete control, Jason reminded himself what Dick said. And no matter how angry he was at Dick, he’d never refuse the help that phrase offered.

Some days, Jason was convinced he was hanging on by a thread. Some days, Jason wasn’t even sure he had that much.

“I guess I deserved that one,” Dick said with a barely concealed wince and they continued the cat and mouse dance they had going on.

“No _shit.”_

“How’s life?” Dick asked and Jason rolled his eyes.

“Pretty shitty.” Again, Dick winced.

“Jason.” And _God,_ Jason hated the way Dick said his name, nothing short of a prayer. “I know it doesn’t count for much, but I’m sorry.” Jason snorted, stopping his circling.

“You’re right, it _doesn’t_ count for much.” Jason used the fire escape to propel him onto the building. There was no sound, but he knew Dick was following him, silent like Jason’s own shadow.

It still amazed Jason how talented Dick was. He was easily the most talented of Bruce’s chosen children, even if Damian had trained far more than any of them. Everything Dick did had an ease to it; a devil may care attitude. Jason had always yearned to be like Dick, even when he came back from the dead.

Dead. Like Dick had been. Supposedly.

_Hello darkness my old friend,_ Jason thought when anger familiarly swelled in him. Jason sped up, hoping that he would manage to shake Dick. But Dick was quicker and came up to match him stride for stride.

“Where we going?” Dick asked and Jason’s hand tightened on his gun. _Shooting Dick would be bad. But it would also be satisfying._

No. Jason didn’t hurt his family anymore, even if they did deserve it a tiny little bit.

“Nowhere,” Jason grunted instead and Dick huffed like the child Jason knew he was.

“We’re obviously going somewhere,” Dick said and Jason skidded to a stop, spinning on Dick.

“No,” Jason snarled. He waved his hand between them. “ _We_ are going _nowhere. I_ am going _somewhere._ There’s a difference.”

“Oh.” Jesus, Jason hated Richard Grayson so fucking much. He was not allowed to make Jason feel bad anymore.

“I’m going to Tim’s apartment,” Jason finally said, guilt chewing at his stomach. “Some girl apparently got him good with a brick. Just want to check up on him and make sure he didn’t get his jaw broken or something.”

“Is he alright?” Dick asked, so earnest and kind and _God_ Jason was going to murder him.

“Yeah, the kid will be fine.” Jason paused, rubbed his gloved hands together before sighing. “Would you like to come with me?”

Jason was practically blinded by Dick’s smile, blinding with no real right to do so. Dick was so… _beautiful,_ that much Jason could admit, but he had a healthy glow to him, like being gone for a while had done him well.

Which, Jason could get in a sense. He hid himself from being alive for a while and sure, maybe his mental health plummeted, but shit happened. And Jason had seen a _therapist._ Sort of. Selina had made him talk to Harley when she heard he was back and, despite the girl having as many mental problems as he did, she was good. She understood on a level no one else had and she’d made Jason realize that there was no shame in having issues and there was _certainly_ no shame in getting help for them.

“I would really, _really_ love that,” Dick said and Jason nodded, quelled the anxiety clawing at his chest, at his lungs.

“Good,” was all Jason said because he didn’t have much else to say. He turned to start running again but Dick grabbed his arm and Jason flinched at the contact, turning to meet Dick’s sad eyes.

“Are we going to be… okay?” Dick asked and Jason threw his hands up.

“Jesus, Dick, I don’t really want to talk about it.” Dick crossed his arms.

“Well too bad-.”

Jason cut Dick’s words off with a strangled laugh. “‘ _Well too bad,’”_ Jason mocked, vibrating in his anger. “Listen, _you_ left. _You_ chose Bruce’s way. _You_ lied to us. And therefore, _you_ don’t get to tell me when to talk. _You_ don’t get to tell me how to feel. Okay?” Dick nodded. “ _Awesome.”_

Jason went to move off but stopped, taking a deep breath. “Shit.” He turned to Dick, just looked at him as he took off his helmet. He tossed his helmet to the side and strode forward, grabbed Dick by the shoulders and pulled their lips together.

The kiss was everything Dick and Jason were: harsh, violent, _destructive._ But there was something decidedly poetic about a kiss that tasted like a hurricane.

Jason pulled away with a wet smack to stare at Dick, whose eyes were still closed. Everything hit him at once, everything that he felt and what he just did. Dick’s eyelashes fluttered and he blinked, long eyelashes framing his cheeks. _God,_ Jason was going _soft._

“Little wing,” Dick said in a murmur, but Jason shook his head wildly.

“No, _no,”_ Jason’s said, backing away. “Please, just, _don’t.”_

“Okay,” Dick said, holding his hands out in a nonthreatening manner. “Okay. You’re just fine, Jay. Alright, you with me? Jay, you with me?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Jason babbled, clasping his hands together. Dick moved slowly, grabbed Jason’s hands in his own. “Fuck.”

“Everything’s good.” Dick hummed, sang under his breath so quietly Jason barely heard it. “… _fly through the air with the greatest of ease, that daring man on the flying trapeze_ …” The words washed over Jason like a tidal wave, cleansed him, made it a bit easier to breathe.

“Okay,” Jason breathed out, setting his shoulders back. “I think we need to talk, just… later.” Dick nodded.

“Batman motto, right?” Dick joked and Jason huffed, shook his head. He looked at Dick, allowed himself to see the broken man before him. His brown skin was splintered into shards, but he seemed to glow through the cracks, bright and angry and fighting. In that moment, Jason didn’t just see Dick Grayson, but saw Robin and Nightwing and Batman and Agent 37 and every person Dick had ever been. Jason saw the boy he’d crushed on and the man he’d mourned.

“Yeah,” Jason said, mouth bitter. “The Batman motto.”

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](bisexualqueenofhell.tumblr.com)


End file.
